The claim of true love

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Often times we see people who have been in "long-term" relationships or been engaged or even married for many years, couples who shared a typical "happily ever after" life and who we took for granted and thought to be made for each other, end up silently without a single explanation and we are left shocked trying to figure out why did that happen? They were so happy together and so perfect! Subhanallah! We can only see what our eyes can show us through our visual sense. Being bombarded with hollywood/bollywood love stories, we fall into the illusion of falling in love or being in love. On our expedition to proof our true love we even abandon our parents and set apart for a new life with the person we love! Is that what our concept of love should be? Should we love one another for who he/she is in this dunya - the status one possess, the family one belongs to, the outward appearance/education one has, or may be because that person might have such a great job! Of-course we are human and we cannot ignore these facts that these things do attract us - however, one main component we totally leave out of our equation; this component is to be the primary component and it is: that person's relationship with Allah (swt). One of the thing as been mentioned by Shyakh Hussain Abdul Sattar, that keeps buzzing in my head & have left a remarkable impact in my heart is - "without connection to Allah, you cannot connect to anyone." And that’s exactly what our basis for true love should be.

Our relationship with Allah (swt) would be reflected in all our dealings and all our relationships. Having sincere love for Allah (swt) can help us reach out to His greatest creations – humans. To start with lets think about our relationship with our parents - often times kids become disobedient to their parents and they justify saying that the older generations do not understand. The Qur'an strictly instructs us to obey our parents and love them and take care of them and not a single verse asks the parents to take care of the child. Why? That's becasue its an innate nature of the parent to care, love and nurture their child. So, can we say that a child loves his parent if he is being disobedient? Can we say a husband loves the wife, if he's not being dutiful and not fulfilling the rights of the wife? Similarly, we cannot say we love so and so unless we are there to help that person get closer to Allah (swt) & assist them with what would bring good for them in this world and the next. Therefore, if we claim that we truly love someone we must show it in our act – by showing what we are capable of doing for the sake of Allah (swt) to make that relationship pleasing to Him azza wa ‘jal. What hardships are we ready to face in this world - the reward of which might not be evident in this life? Or are we thinking only of dwelling happily in this life and not caring of the hereafter? How prepared are we to face our Lord on that day? If we are to claim that we love someone then not only it should worry us whether the state we are in is pleasing to the Lord or not and if not we should ask how can we make it pleasing? Moreover, if it is true love as been claimed it should not only gain love from that person but gain Allah (swt)’s love as well – as we have not only found a companion to praise Him (swt) but we also have helped each other and pulled each other to establish better connection with Allah (swt). What type of love is this? This is the love that we have for others for the sake of Allah (swt). That is true love and when we claim that should be our basis of loving one another! There can be no empty promise of loving one unless we help them with what is good & forbid them what is evil, assist them seek the truth, accompany them to seek nearness to Allah (swt). We leave out these important elements when we look for the love of our life and that's the reason in the end we are left with confusion, regret, grief, anger, awe and we keep wondering 'how did it not work?' We forget to keep a strong base from the beginning and start building a huge concrete with a feeble base. The result: just like a huge tall building that is built without a strong base - devastation! Subhanallah!

So, no matter for what other worldly reason we may love someone - the first and foremost reason for loving another person should be for the sake of Allah (swt). The love which is based on the love for Allah (swt) can make us high. In fact, it can make us so high that not only it would bless that relationship but bring contentment and happiness in the hearts of both & help them both achieve a better station with Allah (swt). A relationship where the company helps one another as a source of guidance and where one loves the other inspite of all the shortcomings -that's a relationship which can sustain. It is a love that is based on the love of Allah (swt) and love for His messenger (saw)! If in a relationship we are not able to leave behind our worldly status baggage and not able to submit ourselves to Allah (swt) and just be a servant of Allah (Abdullah) - how can that relationship grow? Based on what ground? Because worldly status are helpful for living in this world and if you can use it to earn some good deeds for the akhira - great! But there's no gurantee!

We might think our job to be the most important thing in the world - but it's not. We might think our so and so degree is the most important thing in this world - it's not! We might think our family values are the most important thing in the world - well it's not! Family values are important but not to that extent when it contradicts with the laws and the commands of Allah (swt). These are just mere vehicles to help us lead a better life in accordance to the law of the sharia. How can one be loved for all such worldly characteristics when the world in itself is a temporary stoppage for us? The first and formost role we must prioritize ourselves with is: abd-Allah - servant of Allah and thus we shall comply by all and everything that is pleasing to Him (swt). Once we have that straightened - other things will eventually fall into peices easily. Often times we are so tight and adamant about holding to some of these values and issues - that we loose track of what are we trying to achieve in the end and sometimes even if it's not the right way - pride holds us back from correcting ourselves. Subhanallah! This is the situation of us these days!

We often share our constrains and put conditions ahead to make love work! Subhanallah! If you truly love - do it for the sake of Allah (swt) - why share your burden when you are not able to bring any blessing? One of the hadith of Prophet (saw) mentions that: "Seven people whom Allah would give protection with His Shade on the Day when there would be no shade but that of Him are: a just ruler, a youth who grew up with the worship of Allah; a person whose heart is attached to the mosques; two persons who love and meet each other and depart from each other for the sake of Allah; a man whom a beautiful woman of high rank seduces (for illicit relation), but he (rejects this offer by saying):" I fear Allah" ; a person who gives charity and conceals it (to such an extent) that the right hand does not know what the left has given: and a person who remembered Allah in privacy and his eyes shed tears."

So, loving one another for the sake of Allah (swt) would give us a shade on that day – when all of the creation that has ever been created resurrects. Therefore, if you love your other significant make it for a better cause so you may not only reap the benefit in this world but may also carry some of the reward for the next world and have it reserved for that day when no matter how much good deeds we have in our account, without His mercy, it will fall short. If you love someone make it for the sake of Allah, help one another abstain from evil and do what is good, if you love someone make it pleasing in the sight of Allah (swt) and gain His immense pleasure & help the other person boost up their iman. If you love someone who you want to be with - then marry that person and give him what's due to each other! If we bring excuses after excuses in order to fulfill the love of a person - that cannot be love anymore - that would only leave us with excuses. Build relationships on strong and firm ground (not excuses and conditions) - since, as been mentioned earlier, a building that has a shaky base cannot sustain. Another important thing we often ignore is the method with which we try to accomplish a task. We might have the best of intention but we should also be careful and suspicious with the means and methods that we are using to accomplish that task. Sometimes our selfish soul would reason us that "all is well that ends well". Well, Not necessarily! Why? For example, in a math problem, if we have the final answer right using a total different method than what was asked - it will not get us full credit but might get us partial (very minimal) credit - if the teacher is flexible and has some mercy! But to get the full credit not only we need to get the final answer correct - the approach we use to solve the problem (which carries the other 50% of the points) also matters & needs to be correct as well. So, the methods of obtaining that objective is equally important as the objective itself.

One last note to this, i remember Shaykh Abdullah Adhami mentioned in one of his talks that - it is haqq (i.e you perform justice), when you give the person what is in full due ; however, ihsan is when you give more and take less from others. Subhanallah! I just cannot begin to comprehend the depth of this statement. I found this to be so true and so beautiful mashaAllah! As muslims, we should strive for ihsan in all aspect - relationships of all types: friends, parents,husband, relatives, co-workers etc. and we should go beyond just paying off and that would surely bring tranquility in both our spiritual life as well as this worldly life. Unfortunately, today even among family members we try to measure what the other person has to offer. We have engrossed so much into balancing the account in this life that we are not thinking much about the stock (of good deeds) we need to have for the hereafter.

May Allah (swt) give us the tawfiq to love one another for the sake of Allah (swt) alone and help us gain ihsan in all our conducts so we may gain the benefit in this world and the next. May He (swt) help us be of those who not even through their ignorance wrongs others and may He azza wa 'jal guide us to seek His path and be on that path that's pleasing to Him. Ameen!

The beauty of submission

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

We all hold a vision regarding our future and about our life. We wish and we dream. We nurture those dreams so tenderly and don't even let anything come in between to put even the lightest scratch of doubt in it. We plan for years and we prepare ourselves both mentally and emotionally hoping that our dream is soon to turn into reality. We take things for granted - we try to reason and we use logic as why something should go the way as we want. How can things go wrong after putting so much time, effort and dedication in it, right? Not possible! And we become so sure of our dreams that it almost feels reality. By mistake if we wake up and realize that it wasn't reality we pretend to be in that deep state of r.e.m. We ignore to distinguish between our dream and where we live - the relaity! We pay more attention to our nafs and hawaa. We loose contact with actuality and we loose our mind, we forget all about the decree of the divine will! We forget that Allah (swt) is the one who plans and knows everything. We human can only plan and we can only wish - and thats all we can do. The rest we have to leave up to the will of Allah (swt). This reminds me of the hadith when a man asked the prophet (saw) if he should tie his camel or just rely on Allah (swt). Hearing thing the prophet (saw) replied, 'tie your camel and then rely on Allah (swt).'

Therefore, we can plan and we can sketch our wish according to our convenience and understanding, as to what we think is best for us. We can map out and make arrangements and prepare - but from the very beginning till the end we have to realize and understand the concept of relying on Allah (swt). We need to rely on Allah azzawajaal completely to get the most of our situations in every case. For He (swt) never abandons us. And Allah (swt) states in His glorious book in Surahtul Duha:
--
By the forenoon (after sun-rise);
And by the night when it is still (or darkens);
Your Lord has neither forsaken you nor hated you.
And indeed the Hereafter is better for you than the present (life of this world).
And verily, your Lord will give you (all i.e. good) so that you shall be well-pleased.
Did He not find you (O Muhammad (saw)) an orphan and gave you a shelter?
And He found you wondering and gave you guidance you?
And He found you in need, and made you rich (selfsufficient with selfcontentment)?
--

So, why is it that we human loose track? Why do we forget? We are so naive and so deluded even when we think to be awake. We are so overtaken by our selfish soul! Astagfirillah! We fall into the trap of mixing between our qalb(heart) and nafs (selfish soul). If only we know how to submit properly to Allah (swt) we would stop taking things for granted. We think we are in a state of Islam - we are in this illusion that we have submitted ourselves to the Lord, the owner of the whole world - the owner of the Universe; and we let ourselves fall in the trap of shaytan. We let shaytan whisper and we even let our nafs follow it. We start blaming others when things don't work in our life according to our plan; we regret that we ever planned! Subhanallah!

We get so immersed in our plan and we start relying on people more than on the will of Allah (swt)! May Allah azzawajaal forgive us for such mistakes. We entrap ourselves and rely more on the creation who are eventually controlled by the Creator. See, how we let ourselves cross the boundaries! Little do we reflect on the truth - that our main flaw in the whole process was not in planning or arrangement for that matter. The main flaw lied in the fact that we failed in the process of submission to our Lord. We think we have submitted ourselves if we are doing our salaahs and increasing our ebadahs and elongating our sujuds! But is that truly the case? Did we submit all our wills and our soul ? Have we submitted our intelligence - that uses logic and reasoning? If we really think about it - we don't! Atleast I have failed in my part. May Allah (swt) accept my forgiveness and may He (swt) guide me. We forget that if things don't happen its not becasue its bad luck but becasue that's the will of Allah (swt) and there's khair(good) in it; we can't comprehend with our limited knowledge and wisdom. May be we are not getting the benefit of it in this life. May be there's khair for in the akhirah(hereafter) - or in the future through an unopened, unknown door - which only Allah azzawajaal knows and can facilitate. May be it was His way of bringing you near to Him and giving you the taste of true submission. Once we realize that and once we are able to submit ourselves with all our plans and wishes - we'll find our heart at such ease. We will not feel overwhelmed anymore. Submission to Allah (swt) would not only bring us closer to Allah (swt) but would also increase and strengthen our iman and relieve us of the extra burden - that we have to take care of it all!

Subhanallah! There's so much beauty and so much pleasure in true surrender to the higher power. Once we can submit our whole being - both internally and externally, then only we can be in a true state of Islam and reap much benefit from this deen.

We need to have reliance and tawakkul on Allah (swt) just as the arab poets said:
“Some eyes are restless while others are in sleep.
In meditating that which may or may not occur,
So leave worrying as much as possible,
As carrying the burdens of anxiety is madness,
There is your Lord, who provided solutions to yesterday,
And he will similarly provide for what is to come tomorrow.”

Another said:
“Let events flow in their predestined path,
And do not sleep except with a clear mind,
Between the period of the blinking of the eye and its opening,
Allah changes things from one state to another.” …

May Allah (swt) give us the tawfiq to have total reliance on Him and Him only azzawajaal. May He (swt) forgive us our ignorance and our shortcomings. May we be of those who He wants to bring nearer to Him. May He (saw) help us surrender ourselves in all aspect. May we be of those who He smiles at and are pleased with. May we be of those who follow the footsteps of the best teacher to humanity, prophet (saw), so we may benefit in both the worlds of this life and the akhira. Ameen.